stretched wide across the chest
I send a deep breath beyond what’s pulled taut
into my low belly
where the ache lives (haunts)
much later, in stillness
the pictures flash across my mind
you and me
sisters, they’d say
whenever love’s torn in 2
the breach is gonna sear
I hand Her what feels burnt to a crisp
commanding SHE bring me closer to HER inferno
yes closer…I will not run
Just Dont allow my tears to put out
Keep me blazing
Burn down my resistance
to more LIGHT
resist the urge to scream
So. hard. to. be. thankful. for. these. dark. days
in confident terms
all is well
freedom’s at hand!
there’s no escape
a vice-like grip
on heart and mind…
soul, like a specter
bony, superhuman restraint
resist the urge
resist the urge to scream
focus on blue sky
thy kingdom come…
in the luminous darkness
Insults hurled, barbs like arrows gaining speed
Far-flung language and under-handed jabs lobbed my way
Makes no matter—I am Teflon Girl
The criticisms and hurts are only a mirror if I’m holding one
They no longer represent my Truth
Only That which serves the Highest Good in Me sticks
The oft-reported shortcomings have nowhere to land
Slipping and sliding into oblivion
I am Teflon Girl
Sturdy like armor, protecting what is of value
Preserving and insulating like a chest-full of that stuff
My heart beats on
I am Teflon Girl
Have you enjoyed these daily offerings of mind, body, breath practices? I hope you’ll give it a try and be sure and let me know how you feel afterwards.
The title was inspired by Matthew 20 (the parable of the workers) when the landowner pays all them the same amount at day’s end, regardless of the amount of work done. We are all equally God’s children and my calling is to relay this message of Grace, forgiveness and Love which bubbles up from within our very own hearts.
Enjoy!! Be at Peace
I don’t want to sit up straight to type and think from my elongated spine, aligning my head, heart and guts. I don’t want to shift from this slouch, merging with my new dark gray sectional in my recently renovated family room, where the only family left here most of the year is my husband of 25 years. But I need to tell you about this bubbling up of truth around my being a Christ-follower. I see HIS signature mercy, grace, presence, heart-welling up everywhere and that makes me a Sufi. I don’t like labels. I do like the word eschew..but how is that pronounced anyway? I wont’ pause the quick-fingered tapping at these keys to find out though.
And yet, I know I eschew labels…restrictions on my Self or my self. I am integrating so many parts of my Self/self lately that I am in a state of allowing. Allowing this couch to swallow me up into her puffy enveloping softness. All the selves, right here, right now…melting together. This is exactly what my self needs today. I am listening as she sighs, ‘yes’ to the no effort.
So here we are…can you see us, this 5 foot 5 inch breathing thing? You can’t really differentiate the parts because they’re smooshing down and together. Getting lost in and among themselves. All except those fingers, tap tap tapping away. Inhale….Exhale.
Earlier I was a few feet away from this spot on the new area rug, all swirly with oceanic colors and flowing designs. I needed her to hold me. The ocean. The womb. The color blue.
I was falling apart and I knew she’d let me.
She wouldn’t ask me to pull myself together. She wouldn’t command me to stop my incessant crying. She’d absorb the tears into herself…making more of her, less of me. More of her…less of me. Like a mantra now. I am one with you- carpet as ocean. Ocean as womb.
I am no longer Anita the one who can’t stop the flow of pain, the flow of tears, the flow of remembering. I am in the ocean of pain, the sea of tears, the womb of comfort.
Our bodies have brought us this far in life. Containers for our unexpressed emotions and moving forward despite injury and illness, our bodies have faithfully experienced our lives through tastes, sights, sounds and smells. And yet, most of us barely give our hands and feet a passing thought, let alone our internal organs keeping us alive. The gateway to wholeness of mind and spirit is through the physical stardust of us. Bringing the light of awareness into our tension, our achiness, or simply where it feels like there is no space for breath, will serve us well on this path of exploring the very ground of our being.
I hope you’ll take a listen and stretch and contemplate what it is your body has to say to you today about doing the next right thing. Namaste!