Tape rollers and swiffers

I’m obsessed with tape rollers…and swiffers. This one got me thinking–

We walk around covered in the
world’s filth and don’t even know it.
We inherit
generations of ancestral addiction and trauma
and think
it’s our personal
failing. The words of hatred, denial, self-preservation
greed, and gossip swirl into the air
in search of a landing place….you, your ready mind.

We think our nasty little thoughts cursing those who’ve hurt us. We experience road rage. And of course millions take out their unprocessed anger and grief on their innocent animals and children eah day. We don’t understand energy and it’s mission.

And so we by the millions, sit in shame and don’t know what’s wrong with us. Mental health, chronic pain, suicide all on the rise and we are at a loss for how to move, how to deal with our pain.

Most people inside a bubble of aloneness, disconnected from community– a real place to regularly be seen and heard, to be challenged!

And so if we do not shake the dust off LITERALLY, we will live from our unconscious dirty little self. Our sin will devour us.

Our blame game will pre-occupy our minds and we will wonder why despair is causing us to self-destruct.

Watch your thoughts they become beliefs which become actions…if we do not find a daily practice of discovering the New Earth, we will live by the world’s domination system and call it normal. We will be slaves to a system of division and consumption, disconnection and personal agenda.

The Truth shall set us free– we are ONE humanity united under the unseen Father mystery, the manifest Mother who’s beauty abounds, who’s creative force compels us to choose better.

Choose life, choose to find your clean heart, your mind of Christ.

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Body sick, Mind strong

Day 2 bronchitis ravaged lungs.

My husband, away on a golf trip in sunny Florida, texts to see if I am feeling any better. Interestingly, I find myself respond “body sick, mind strong”.  And re-reading those words makes me weep a little.  Why? Because for so long, too long, my reality was body sick, mind sick.

But we don’t know what a healthy mind would feel or sound like do we? It is our mind alone, and we have nothing to compare it to. Not everyone with a visibly strong body has a strong mind. Not everyone with a strong mind has a physical body to mirror it either.

But the goal is for the body mind to work as ONE; to be unified. What was important for me to realize while sick is that I was filled with compassion and care for my whole self- my lungs, my achiness, my throat, my sinuses. At no point did I delve into despair while nursing this compassion on my hurting parts. I think that’s what we are afraid of arent’ we?  If I spend too much time on my ‘self’, I’ll feel narcissistic, self-serving, I’ll devolve into depression and get stuck there.

We don’t know how to find balance. Just the right amount of rest and nurturing. I was very aware that my mind was focused on gratitude and what was needed- hot ginger tea, peppermint vapors, spicy food, expectorant, neti pot. And sure enough in two days I was feeling 100% better. I captured quickly those pesky thoughts of ‘what if I am sick for a long while…I cannot remember health right now” and burned ’em up.

Singing in an epsom salt bath, humming in a hot shower, breathing diagphramatically and even feeling up to a few rounds of breath of fire have kept the prana moving. I hope the next time you get sick you take a look mindfully at where your thinking leads you.

I hope you too, develop that strong mind who loves uniting with a poor, sick , vulnerable body.

Burden

You are not a burden

not your morning stiffness

nor your chronic ache

You cannot make me despise you any longer

skip the gym

forget the yoga

eat the cake

You cannot go your own way now

…..because

You are not a burden

I’ve claimed you as my own

no matter your intensity

nor your tendency

to bemoan

just breathe my friend

can you see

we are

not at odds

invite in some more breath

it’s the essence

of the gods

I know

I have not acted

like much of a friend to you

to one with so much need

so much pain

here’s your due

breathe in ease

breathe out dis-ease

Is it really so simple?

I have no answers

if you please

Only attention

And care

simply aware

of the many ways I tried to shame

and blame

when you were always there

carrying the entirety of life’s burdens

but to me?

one born of ignorance

one born of fear

You are not a burden

You are ever so dear

You

are my very same self in form

that I did not recognize

your substance as

so very

very good

said the

mind to the body

Ode to Jesus and Mary…Oliver

 

what a mess they used to make

a hostile takeover 

before

He sturdied me

studied me

made His body my  Sovereign guard

unexpected visitors

stormed the territory

armed

dangerous

i had no choice

(((helpless victim that I was)))

but to let them

have their

way with me

leaving me 

for dead

what bloody violence

before Her tender

breath of compassion

kingdom serenity

feelings once fueled by 

guerrilla forces

what binding blinding confusion

before His Revolutionary Logic

jumbled thoughts 

inexorable feelings 

sent to sabotage

and so

i prayed to jesus

and

to mary…. oliver

each seemed to know

exactly

what i needed from

them

A new Song

I’m a middle-aged white woman who decided it would be fun to ride my bike from our home to our church on a gorgeous spring morning to clean.  While I pedaled I began to sing made up lyrics and using my vocal instrument to sound out different tones and notes. This is really new for me!  I have believed the story that I have a horrid singing voice my entire life. Maybe you have a story you believe too and are coming to wonder how true it is.

I came across a few men with brown and black sking and they were very friendly in waving my way. I suddenly had a wave of shame wash over me. I was recalling a day when I was in my front yard in our primarily white neighborhood, maybe 10 years ago and a man of color was biking by in the middle of the day. And what did I think?

  • Why aren’t you at work?
  • Why are you here where you don’t belong?
  • Are you up to no good?

The reason I want to admit my thoughts is because we are all ignorant to so much of life and how our thoughts do not define who we are. We do not have the full light of awareness of God. We have been influenced and conditioned by society and its fears.  After 14 years of yoga and meditation I have come to make much of my subconscious conscious..bringing the dark into the light. It is the only way to grow and speak and act from love, from connection, from wisdom.

I hope you won’t judge me too harshly. I hope you’ll take an opportunity to contemplate the ways you have grown and realized something you once believed to be true is no longer true and you are actually a bit mortified. This is good!! This is what the world needs…for us to humbly admit our wrong-thinking without a whole lot of shame, moving from a moment of regret to surrending it to God.

I want to move and think and breathe and act the way love feels. I dont want to move and think and breathe  the way fear feels…we can only do this when we are honest about our having been conditioned, especially by prejudice in our own families. We can only ‘hear’ our own thinking with practices of mindfulness– or else we just go on believing our negative thoughts instead of realizing not every thought is rooted in truth. Most are not!

I like singing a new song. My song is one of hope that we can all grow and find our inner safety and not project our anxieties onto an innocent world.  Peace can be cultivated within but it takes practice and commitment to let go.