mirroring

you in prison green garb
gazing back at me softly with misty eyes
i see love and admiration
appreciation mixed with a bit of awe
i feel warmth spread across my face and neck, down my chest into my belly
i know this is gods’ love for me
this is how he sees me
with your eyes you show me how God sees me
he wants  me to know in my bones that i am
good
i am enough
i am loved unconditionally and forgiven all my shortcomings

i desire to spread this incredible almost indescribable feeling to others
i want to gaze in their eyes in a way that they leave full
overflowing even
knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that you, the God of the universe
want union with each and every one of us
until there is no separation
we are One with the Divine creator
and One another

drowning voices

she speaks
but no one listens
she cries in the night
the owls hoot their reply

her feminine truth remains lodged
in her throat
like a jumble of linguistic jargon
drowning
in warm spittle
her wisdom buried
beneath molten guile and disguised agenda
the musty earth protecting a cauldron
of nurtured secrets

birthing and vomiting at once
the Real woman
clutching her boldness
her complexity
frighteningly lovely
her magic stemming
from infinite depths
and her circle of sisters

she was incomplete,
a proliferating fetus of
cells enmeshed in purity and goodness
multiplying at warp speed

awaiting God’s perfect timing
to arrive

men revere her
fluid words
they carry prudence
and unlikely humility
there!
moses lying in the basket
floating downstream in muddy waters
his cries gaining strength
the princess drawing him out
his vocal chords beginning to resonate
a universal hopefulness
and red-blooded blessing
to live and speak
and drown only
that which must die

I See JESUS in the lotus everyday

Yoga: union of mind, body and spirit.  I  feel better connected to God and others when I operate out of a place of wholeness and have recently had a MAJOR aha!  There must be Divinity in ALL of me– my body has an innate wisdom to communicate, I use my mind to learn and problem solve and my heart/spirit guides me in ways I can trust but  that are not always readily apparent.  One important message that came through on my mat recently was “I have found a place of paradox where I can live peaceably.  It is there that I am confident I am enough, I know enough and my unique gifts are enough. AND YET, I actually know very little of the larger reality at work.

For most of my 48 years I  have ignored the communications generated by my belly pains, tears, goosebumps, hangovers and tiredness…forging ahead with an abundance of ice cream, margaritas and pasta!  It seems that after 10 years of regular yoga and meditation practice, I have been regularly receiving communication from the wisdom placed in my physical body.  What a revelation that my spirit isnt to be revered above my mind and body.  What a confirmation from my main man, JC, that He is the Truth– Divinity and Humanity co-existing in one being. Herein, lies one of the many similarities between yogic philosophy and  Jesus’s teachings, but somehow history has separated the two. And not just separated but much of traditional, fundamental Christianity will point to yoga’s roots in Hinduism as satanic.   It is one of my missions in life to work so that people who are intimidated by trying yoga at a local studio can experience embodying the Divine alive inside each and every one of us.  The obvious space is in the local churches!!

I am journeying toward equanimity and respect for each.

I love my body and I love my spirit but there remains judgment about the mind. For many of my students, it seems that most of their criticism is toward their body.  As I get older, my mind is challenging me with memory issues and focus.  However, I initially pursued a meditation practice to aid in this  holistically nearly three years ago and that step was the first in me finding my true calling: teaching yoga and meditation to the incarcerated and now other underserved populations.

Alan Watts says that ‘the loss of paradoxical thinking is the great blindness of our civilization’ and Father Richard Rohr goes on to say “which is what many of us believe happened when we repressed the feminine side of our lives as the inferior side. It was a loss of subtlety, discrimination, and capacity for complementarity.”  Each of us houses masculine and feminine energies.  May the gentle, compassionate and interconnected in each of us arise and flourish.

Challenge to the anawim (ordinary)

Are you a nobody like me?  An ordinary person with a pretty ordinary life and background…
or maybe you have some real juiciness going on, like you could write a book!!
Either way, it’s the average Joe and Julie who are being asked to share the good news.

What is the good news you might be asking? Well from my humble perspective this day it’s  that life is full of paradox and it can all be transformed for not only your highest good but the good of humanity. That what appears to be tragic, painful, and heretical may  turn out to be your greatest strength that God wants to use to change and open hearts: first and foremost our own!!

We are being called to release ALL of our pent up emotional “stuff” that is holding us back. How do we do that? Just to name a few: yoga and meditation, creative outlets like writing , music and art.
QUIET, still sacred time where we can tune into our own HEARTS AND GUT…dropping out of the mind chatter and into somewhere deeper that is connected to the rest of the universe.  The breath can take you there…or meditating on the ocean.

Listening to the roar and rhythm of the waves crashing, one can sense that when we feel alone we imagine we are like just one drop of salt water in a great sea. We can oftentimes feel insignificant and unworthy. We can suffer a  disconnection and feel  very, very alone.  The great fix for this dreadful sensation?  Go inside yourself and enter the spaciousness there.  Most of the physical body is made up of empty space, but we feel trapped and suffocated by our own self oftentimes. Why?  the mind just won’t shut up!!

By getting still, we can begin to sense that all of our pain, all of our shame is not so unlike everyone else’s. When we can surrender to what is, that’s when the miracle happens.  A rush of love, divine GRACE and fullness enters. we are immersed in goodness and compassion and it is ALL inside of us, everything we need. In the spaces between the thoughts, carried on a single breath of life we return to our source. We were created ordinary for an extraordinary purpose. If and only if, we can tap into our connection to all that is and ever was. Our expansion from singular drop of sea water merges into the fullness of the oceans and we are lifted higher than we ever imagined, buoyed by an arising trust in our life’s meaning and purpose.